


Impulse

by bluedog96



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Centipede Kaneki Ken, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Gen, Ghouls, Hiatus, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Revising earlier chapters so I can keep writing, insignificant background OC
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2016-06-23
Packaged: 2018-04-01 02:49:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4003009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluedog96/pseuds/bluedog96
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ghouls have gained the rights of citizens. Naturally, Hide is curious about the monsters known as ghouls. His chance comes when a ghoul orders from his restaurant. Hide wants to meet him again and Kaneki finds himself wanting to know Hide despite the dangers for Hide.  </p>
<p>------<br/>“Um,” the teen scratched the back of his head nervously, “I would appreciate if you don’t tell anybody about what I am.” Hide nodded and held out the package to the person—the ghoul. The teen accepted it but not without hesitation. Hide saw the slight movement of his fingers and the jerkiness in his limbs. </p>
<p>Hide said, “Do you not like it? It’s fake you know.”</p>
<p>The teen froze. A hand rose, slowly, and rubbed his chin. “Ah, no I like it!”</p>
<p>“Hm…liar.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Delivery

**Author's Note:**

> Someone shoot me. I started a new story even though I have others I haven't finished. A warning ahead of time-there will be lots of angst eventually. I'm going to finish my HideKane parkour one-shot series in a bit but this is outlined and ready for writing. I should actually finish it. 
> 
> Bleh summary is bleh.

 

  The daily lunch rush set in, urging all available staff members rushing into their assigned positions. They abandoned lazy chatter in favor of catering to the boisterous crowd encroaching upon the cashiers with rapid fire orders. A businesswoman seated at her table constantly checked her phone’s time in a nearby booth. A nearby 50’s style counter, where patrons lined up to order from the waitress and sat on vibrant red stools, dished out orders to the impatient customers.  Over in the far corner, a few of the early arrivals, who weren’t in a frantic hurry, calmly ordered coffees while perusing the menu items.

Lucky Hide’s break came during the lunch break or he would be the same as the frantic waitresses.  He brought his own lunch today, a light sandwich, because deliveries still needed to be made. Tokyo’s traffic came to a halt during lunch hours meaning Hide needed to bike everywhere he traveled, even if the location in question was miles from the restaurant. The address of his next delivery, written on the folded slip of paper in his pocket, called over ten miles away. Maybe he could take a bus or something…

“In other news, the CEO of Takada Corporation was fired from his position this mor—“ Hide glanced up from his mug of coffee. Displayed in big white letters read, ‘CEO Fired For Being a Ghoul.’ Ghoul sympathizers finally pushed a law ‘for equal rights of all species’ allowing members of the ghoul society to come out. The process, from what he heard, had been tedious and provided no anonymity should the ghoul decide it didn’t want to live the human life after all. Ghouls could lose everything just for being a ghoul. No one would do a thing about it.

The law only prevents the CCG from killing them.

“Shizuka-san” Hide called to his supervisor, "do you have the next delivery? It’s the one over by Kamii!” The supervisor, a short and petite young woman, rushed out with a small brown package. The effect was immediate. The crowed shied away from the plagued parcel. Anyone who knew anything refused to come within twelve feet. “Thanks!”

Hide shoved the last bit of bread into his mouth and downed the coffee before snatching the parcel off the counter. Every store in the food industry carried the inconspicuous packages.

Synthesized flesh.

“Be careful Hide!”

“Don’t worry! I’ve made deliveries to ghouls before!” Tossing on his cap and stuffing the meat into his “delivery backpack”, Hide took off on his bike. Hide was eager. Ghouls hid themselves among humans and never spoke about Ghoul society. For that reason alone, Hide grew excited each time he learned about the mysterious beings known as “Ghouls.” What did it feel like? How did they learn to trust anybody? How many ghouls remained unregistered?

His biggest curiosity had to be ghoul Kagune. Just once, Hide wanted to touch one. Would an ukaku be hot like steam or cool and wispy like vapor? A koukaku probably felt like beetle’s shell. A bikaku and rinkaku most likely shared a similar texture like that of a snake or lizard. What if they were actually slimy? What caused the variation in color between all the kagune? What was life like as a ghoul?

Hide’s curiosity demanded satiation.

Hide looked down at the slip of paper in his hand. He knew this address. The small park was located not too far from his apartment. The ghoul wanted no one to know where he lived. Suspicious, yes, but not out of the ordinary for ghoul customers. Everyone hated their guts so better to keep angry people from knowing the location of their house.

Hide pulled to a stop in front of park and shoved his bike into the crowded bike rack and locking it. He shuffled around his bag for a moment before pulling out the brown package. He took a calming breath. These deliveries were normal. All he needed to do was sit on a nearby bench and the ghoul would initiate the contact. Ghouls always initiated first contact; humans never held the reigns.

Hide set his bag to the side. He reclined on the bench, legs stretched out, and delivery cap pulled over his face to block out the sun. Running deliveries could be hard. Last night, Hide pulled an all-nighter to finish an eight page essay over the significance of ancient samurais on Japanese culture. He fingered the wrapping of the package, mind drifting away from him. The heat from the sun caressed his skin, lulling it further into the black void of sleep. He could afford to rest for a little while—Shizuka knew how hard Kamii’s course load could be.  She would cut him slack just this once for falling asleep.

Someone cleared their throat beside him.

Hide shot up.

“Huh?” Hide rubbed his eyes and pulled the cap back up to get a better look at who woke him up. “What?” In front of him stood a strange teenager (or at least he didn’t have the wrinkles of an elderly man) whose white hair stood out against the park’s back drop. A decorated eyepatch hid his left eye from view. It was hard not to stare.

“Um,” the teen scratched the back of his head nervously, “I would appreciate if you don’t tell anybody about what I am.” Hide nodded and held out the package to the person—the ghoul. The teen accepted it but not without hesitation. Hide saw the slight movement of his fingers and the jerkiness in his limbs.

Hide said, “Do you not like it? It’s fake you know.”

The teen froze. A hand rose, slowly, and rubbed his chin. “Ah, no I like it!”

“Hm…liar.”

“It’s true!” Hide shrugged instead of pushing the matter. It would be rude to push the issue any further. He picked up his backpack from the sidewalk.

“So…a ghoul huh? You’re the first one that I’ve met who is so young. Usually is some old person because they don’t want to bother running from the CCG. But I guess there are people like you too, huh?”

The ghoul averted his gaze at the sidewalk. Hide observed how the ghoul’s grip on the package tightened—how he shifted his feet ever so slightly. “W-would you keep this a secret?” Hide nodded again. The teen seemed nervous and Hide didn’t want to stop the longest conversation he ever had with a ghoul. “I’m not actually registered…”

“What? Dude, if the CCG finds out you’ll be in big trouble. This stuff is for registered ghouls only!”

“I know that! But, I don’t want to eat the real meat.”

“That’s fine then.” Hide grinned and held out his hand, “the name’s Nagachika Hideyoshi by the way. That’s one crazy get up you got there. Practicing to be a pirate for a play?”

The ghoul laughed softly and accepted the hand. Score! Hide got him to laugh! “Sorry, no. I had a bit of an accident about a year or so ago. My name’s Kaneki Ken. It’s nice to meet you.”

“You too. Well,” Hide said, “I have to get going with work and all. Hopefully I’ll see you again soon!”

“Ah wait!”

Hide looked over his shoulder at Kaneki. “What is it?”

“Would you like to grab a coffee? You seem really tired.”

“Sorry, I’m on the clock still.” Hide sheepishly scratched the back of his head. “But I’ve always been curious about ghouls. If you don’t mind, could we meet up later?”

“Well, I don’t know.” Kaneki looked away, towards something in the distance, hesitant to accept Hide’s offer. He knew it was a bad idea to get any human involved with him but Hide’s expression seemed so open and honest it would feel like he kicked a puppy. “I guess it would be okay. There’s a coffee shop by Kamii called Anteiku that’s really good.”

 “Great! How’s ten a.m. this Saturday?”

“That’s fine.”

“Alright!” Hide pumped his fist in the air. “It was great meeting you! I’ve got to get back to work or my supervisor is going to call the cops for a missing person.”

Kaneki watched Hide go and clenched the package in his hands even tighter. He seemed really friendly and they were around the same age. Staring down at the foul, false meat in his hands, his instincts whispered into his ear. _He looked delicious._

Kaneki shook his head to rid himself of the thought.  He came too far and endured too much to kill some human—a human who wasn’t afraid of him—and get the CCG on his tail. He managed to settle in a peaceful ward. His desire for actual flesh would not get the better of him. Now, if only he could outrun his other demons, he would be able to relax.

 

Hide awaited Kaneki’s with nervous excitement. Every few minutes, he checked his silver wrist watch, waiting for the moment when the white haired ghoul would walk in. He almost fell out of his chair each time the bell above the door rang in hopes that Kaneki had just walked in the door. The blue-haired waitress shot him disapproving glares from time to time but Hide wasn’t bothered. He would order once Kaneki arrived.

“Hey, are you going to order or are you just going to take up the table?” The waitress had had enough of his loitering. Hide snapped out of his musings. Her name tag read “Touka.” _Cute just like her._

Hide opened his mouth to respond—“I don’t think you should say that.” Hide’s swung around to see Kaneki casually leaning on the wall; a smirk casually flaunted the confidence and amusement lacing his words. “Touka-chan doesn’t take well to flirting.”

Hide turned back to the waitress, “I guess a coffee cake and one of your lattes with the cute foam artwork.” Hide smirked, “I want one of Touka-chan’s foam art masterpieces!”

“Like hell. I don’t do foam art for idiots like you.”

“Ahh, my heart!” Hide clutched his chest, an arm splayed dramatically over his face, as he faked his agony. “Kaneki, I think I’m dying from a broken heart! Call the love ambulance!”

“Pfft…” Kaneki tried not to break into laughter, “Hide, what are you doing?”

“Making you laugh! Come over here and sit.” Touka came over and set the cake and latte on their table with a harsh clack. Yep, still angry. “So, like, how old are you?”

“Touka-chan, a black coffee as usual.” Touka nodded and hurried off to fill the orders. “What?”

“I thought ghouls couldn’t eat human food.”

Kaneki scratched his cheek, “we can drink black coffee. It’s nice, you know? At least we can experience something that humans do…that’s what I think.”

“I guess so.” Hide took a bite out of his coffee cake. “So, do you go to school?”

“I used to go to Kamii…”

“What?!” Hide said, “I go to Kamii! I’ve never seen you there though. You would think I would remember a guy with such a crazy hair color…”

“I got into an accident a while back. The stress made it go white. I also had to quit Kamii. The manager, I mean Anteiku’s manager, has been really nice and offered me a job while I get back on my feet.”

“So that’s what happened?” Hide leaned back in his chair. “ With that look, you should try out as a villain in one of those plays. With your looks, you could totally pull off the quiet but deadly.”

“You think so?”

“Totally dude!” Hide took a sip from his latte. “Tch, too hot!” He fanned his tongue in a futile attempt to soothe his scorched taste buds. Touka brought over Kaneki’s drink and Hide bombarded him with more questions. What were his hobbies? How did he first start working at Anteiku? Could he make him latte art? Would he like Hide’s number? Before he knew it, the sun had set below the horizon and Kaneki looked worn out from the social interaction.

Hide definitely wanted hang out with Kaneki again.


	2. University Is A Pain

Hide forced himself to crawl out of bed next morning despite there being no classes (at least for him) today. Peeking out from under his covers, the calendar sitting on the far wall taunted him with its bright red circle scrawled all in his handwriting. Without looking, Hide knew what it said: “Get out of bed! Advising meeting at 10 am. Group project meeting for class at 5 pm. Call Shizuka to cancel shift.” The alarm blared beside him; Hide rolled over and yanked the pillow and covers over his head.  

The alarm wouldn’t let him sleep. Groaning, Hide flipped the covers off and sat up in his bed. The alarm faded into an annoying background noise; it still kept his mind from drifting into blissful REM sleep though. He flipped the switch. He stretched his languid limbs and eased himself off of the bed. Where was his phone? He needed to call right now or he would forget to call in when he got busy. Shizuka was aware but he still needed to call in his absence today. He shuffled over to  the bed stand, yawning and stretching, picked up his phone and dialed the number for his work.

The ring sounded twice before it picked up. “Ah, is this Shizuka?”

“Hideyoshi, are you still going to miss today?”

“Yes. Sorry but somebody else is going to have to take care of all those ghoulish deliveries.” Hide grinned when he heard the groan over the phone.

“I need you back soon. You’re the only person who is willing to make those deliveries without hassle. You’re irreplaceable.”

“Will do, Shizuka. I’ll be back running deliveries Wednesday.”

“Okay.” Hide ended the call and stared down at the phone. His contact list still showed on the screen.  A single name jumped out at him—Kaneki Ken. Hide’s curiosity still wasn’t sated. Ghouls held so much potential for the unknown and Hide could feel excitement welling up down to his bones. Kaneki held the answers Hide sought. For the same reasons he learned martial arts and English, Hide needed to know about ghouls—it was something he didn’t know.

He sat the phone on the night stand, cleaned himself up for the morning, and headed into the kitchen to make his breakfast. He piled his eggs and toast onto his plate and plopped down on his living room couch to flip on the morning news. “As you can, see,” the reporter motioned to a pileup of vehicles on fire, “a transportation unit carrying ghoul prisoners to Cochlea was attacked this morning; however, the CCG refuses to explain the details of the event stating it a matter of security. The CCG is saying that there is currently no need for panic but, as usual, they recommend taking safety precautions if you are going to be traveling at night in ghoul infested areas.”

The screen flicked to an anchorman back at the studio, “Thank you for the report Ms. Takimura. Now let’s tune into what our ghoul experts, Kishou Arima and Mado Kureo, on the subject matter. Now, correct me if I am wrong, but Mr. Kishou is considered the strongest ghoul investigator in the CCG correct?”

The white hair man nodded, “that is correct.”

“Our viewers understand that you have taken a sympathetic side towards the ghouls and supported reform of the Ghoul Countermeasures Law. With things such as this, why would you support Ghoul Rights?”

“Ghouls are creatures who eat humans, take on the appearance of humans, and live like humans in our presence yet they are sentient beings who can process the idea of ‘equality.’ I found it interesting that such a proposal was raised with the advent of synthetic meats.”

“I…I see. Well, what about you Mr. Mado? You opposed reforming the law.”

Hide grimaced when the camera zoomed in on the man’s bulging eye and deranged expression. A definite psycho to watch out for. Mado grinned onscreen and pulled out a silver briefcase. “The only thing ghouls are good for are making quinque. You expect me to forgive those creatures that kill people without hesitation? Just because the German branch invented a synthetic meat based on pig’s flesh doesn’t mean they’ll stop hunting humans. The ones running around spouting equal rights are monsters waiting to take advantage of the human heart.”

“That is agreeable. What about the restrictions surrounding current ghoul extermination la—“ Hide flicked off the TV with a grimace yet happy despite the conversation he just witnessed. Even the CCG held sympathizers within its ranks, huh. Of course that would make sense. Hide met ghouls before Kaneki. Each one had their own personality and goals; killing a ghoul probably felt too close to killing a human for some.

Hide threw his dishes in the sink, swiped his bag from the kitchen table, and picked up his phone. Fingers scurried across the screen, ‘ _Kaneki, we should meet up again this weekend. Is Anteiku alright?’_ Switching the phone over to music, he put on his orange headphones and tucked the device away, snugly, in his jacket pocket. Hopefully Kaneki could get to his phone before the night ended.

 

Educational advisors, at best, can be the most helpful person you will encounter in your educational career. At worst, you were better off planning your own degree path and cursing out the entire educational system—like Hide wanted to do right now. The advisor wasn’t overweight but she wasn’t skinny either, framed reading glasses perched atop a bulky nose and squinty eyes, accentuated with a frown as she read over his transcripts. “Okay, so if you change your major to criminology you will need to take an extra class this semester to catch up.”

“Eh? Are you sure? I worked it out myself and I should be able to pass the class! Man, I wanted to use the extra class for ghoul psychology and anatomy.” Hide sighed, absently pushing around the degree sheet on the glass desk between him and the advisor. “I guess I can take the extra hours next semester…”

“Well, if you’re going into criminology for ghoul related crimes, the CCG holds academy classes. They will pay for everything as long as you work as an intern for at least two years then come work for them after you graduate for at least five years.” Hide perked up. Finally, good news! “You can substitute ghoul anatomy and psychology with the CCG academy based program that will pair you up with senior investigators and academy graduates. Are you interested in catching ghouls?”

“Interested? Sign me up! Where’s the form?” She spun around and swiped a sheet of paper from a plastic holder on the wall behind her. She swiped a pen from her collection of writing utensils and sat in next to the paper of front of Hide, her gaze still remaining uninterested. Apparently, students offering themselves up to be killed in return for full tuition didn’t faze her. “You’re not going to try to persuade me away?”

The woman busied herself, clicking away at the computer screen, “I’ve seen you’re kind before, the kind who likes to associate with those monsters. The CCG will take one look at you and assign you under people who hate ghouls—to knock some sense into you.” The scowl on her face grew more pronounced, “Honestly, just because our politicians wanted to keep up with the Western countries we have to offer rights to those things? Ridiculous…”

Hide said nothing. Finish this paper, he thought, and you won’t see her again until next year. Several minutes later, Hide reached the bottom and dutifully signed his name in large scrawl across the paper in messy calligraphy. “Here you go.” The advisor made a grunting noise, swiping the paper from his hand, and throwing it into the fax machine to be sent off. “So, am I good to go?”

“Yes.”

“Okay.” He tossed his bag over his shoulder and exited the room. Fishing out his phone, he looked up the schedule for the rest of the day. Still no text from Kaneki, huh _?_ “Let’s see…next is the group project meeting.” Hide checked the clock. Ten-thirty. “Still a lot of hours ‘till everyone meets up.”  Across from the advising building, the University library towered over the campus in gothic-style splendor. “I should go check out that book Kaneki recommended…” He could do homework or he could read a book.

Reading a book sounded infinitely better at this time.

 

“Yo, Hide, over here man!” Hide looked up from his worn library book, the Black Goat’s Egg, at the small group of four students grinning like maniacs. He shut the book and set it on a glass table and flashed a grin of his own.

“Hey! Are you guys ready for the project?”

One of the members, Yamamoto, picked up the book from glass table. He flipped it open to the summary, the friendly smile morphing into a disgusted grimace. “You read this stuff?”

“Oh that?” Hide pointed, “I met this guy and he recommended it to me.” Hide scratched his cheek, “it’s not really my kind of book though, hehe.”

“Hm? Oh, I read an article about this the other day. I heard it’s a really popular book among ghouls.” Aizawa, another member, said, “How the heck can you read this knowing that? Wait, don’t tell me a _ghoul_ recommended it to you?”

“Yeah.” Hide snatched the book from Yamamoto. “For your information, it’s well written, it may not be my type of story, but the author is an awesome writer. So what if a ghoul recommended it to me?”

“Whatever, let’s just finish this project. We can’t change groups now.”

“Yeah…I can’t get a C in this class or I’ll lose my scholarships. Hide, did you bring your research?”

“Yeah,” Hide handed over the thumb drive where he stored his data, “how about you guys?”

“Or course. We aren’t running around with ghouls in our spare time like you.”

“Hey,” Hide yanked Aizawa with the collar of his jacket, “stop this. Now. All of you are acting like children.” Hide shoved Aizawa’s shirt collar, backing off with a glare over his shoulder at the other people crowding around. “I don’t have to take this crap. No more remarks. Let’s get this project over with and you’ll never have to see my face again.”  They nodded. Hide opened his laptop. “Let’s start putting together the presentation speech.”

 

The project left Hide irked, in a terrible mood, and fatigued from the day’s events. The last thing he ever needed or wanted were punks who wanted to cause fights when there was a twelve page speech presentation that needed to be finished before the end of the day.  Hang in there, he thought, there’s only a few days until the weekend, you only have to see those guys once more before the week ends. Though, he should be scurrying off the darkening streets before the more sinister monsters began to show up.

Hide rubbed his arms, attempting to burrow further into his lightweight jacket to escape from the frost in the air. Only late workers or students like him were still wandering the quiet streets. The weight of his bag, stuffed full of textbooks and reference texts, filled his muscles with kinks and an ache in his upper back. Hide reached up to rub his shoulder, “Man, university aims to turn us into zombies or something. My arm is going to fall off…”

A soft squelch filtered into his senses. Hide froze in his steps and anxiously looked towards the alley way, body frozen except for his wandering eyes. The noise continued and Hide recognized the sound from hours of watching horror films and shows—the sound of flesh being viciously ripped from the bone and devoured and oh god there was a hostile ghoul in the alley way wasn’t there?   Move, move! If he didn’t move he would be noticed!

“Idiot, be quiet. This kid heard you!” A pause. “He smells like that guy.”

His bag dropped.

A scream.

Darkness consumed him.

All of his limbs felt like lead weights had been attached, his mind drifting through a sea of dizziness and nausea, clouding his thoughts, even as he rose back to a dubious consciousness. Through the filter of blurry vision, against a bright backdrop of light that stung his eyes, a white figure shifted into his field of vision. “Who…”

“Hide! Are you alright?” A cool hand rested against his forehead and Hide sighed at the soft touch. “Can you hear me? It’s Kaneki. I’m almost sure you have a concussion. Don’t go back to sleep.” Hide flinched, a sharp sting dancing across his cheek. His vision, though, started to clear as wakefulness decided to bestow itself upon Hide’s exhausted mind.

“K-Kaneki?’ Hide eased his body up, bunching the covers around his waist. “Where am I? What happened?”

“Hide,” Kaneki wasn’t looking at him. Why was he doing that? “We should stop this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thanks guys! Glad you all liked it! I've gotten a lot of helpful feed back on this story! People pointed out a few minor things but now I can put thought into it now that it has been brought to my attention. I didn't think I would get this done by the my update deadline (Sunday- Monday) but here it is! This one doesn't flow as well but...yeah.
> 
> Also, I did some research on characters and university majors (I'm a poor CS student so cut me some slack on law related things). I'm trying to subtly reveal the attitudes of different people and how things work rather than outright telling everyone. Arima is a hard character to understand so I read TG: Jack and came to a conclusion.
> 
> If you have any questions, (not spoilers though), let me know!


	3. Fix

_Kaneki, we should meet up again this weekend. Is Anteiku alright?_

Kaneki dutifully opened the message that morning, surprise lingering at the back of his mind. No one ever messaged him and he doubted the human, Hide, would bother sending him anything—a call or a text—regardless of the human’s initial friendliness. He was stupid. It had been so long since he had _actual_ small talk with someone who was aware of his status. Everything would be over. Either the CCG would come and demand he register making all of his efforts to stay hidden _worthless_ and he would have to go back to that hell hole.

He slammed the phone on his dresser. The mirror resting above the wood reflected an unfamiliar person. Hair fell in loose white strands around his face—pale and broken. Kaneki opened the top drawing, shifting around his small quantity of makeups, and pulled out nail polish and a wig.

A false face looked back at him; however, the wig and make up did little to hide the haggard expression. It didn’t keep the centipede from crawling up his neck, in his ear—“I thought you were going to be _strong.”_

Those slender, delicate, _deceiving,_ arms wrapped around his chest, crimson eyes taunting him in the mirror, and that hand—Rize the _conniving witch_ —caressed his cheek much like that of a lovers. “You were supposed to have disappeared.”

_“Disappear?”_ The hallucination let out a shriek—a harpy’s laugh. “As if! You didn’t surpass me!” The hand drifted lower, “if you surpassed me, you would’ve eaten that defenseless human before this _became a problem.”_ She tugged his face to hers, “isn’t that right, my dear, pathetic Kaneki?” Wipe that smug look off your face he wanted to say but Rize knew that—she knew his every thought. “He’s in your way now, isn’t he?”

“Hide doesn’t deserve that. He’s a good guy.”

“Good guy? Really? You only knew him for five minutes! ‘You want to grab a coffee’ and ‘I’m actually not registered!’ What were you thinking when you said those things?”

“Be quiet.”

“Poor boy so starved for attention that he would spill everything to a complete stranger—a human at that. How weak.”

“Stop it.”

“What if Jason comes back for you? You know what happens to those around you. Kanou made sure you would have such a great time watching bugs get crushed. Poor Hide, you sealed his fate without a second thought.”

“SHUT UP!”

“HAHA! Why should I? You know I’m right!” Those sinful lips twisted and warped to accentuate each syllable, _“Ka-ne-ki,”_ the vicious sneer never leaving that deceptively beautiful face.

“Go away bitch!”

Rize grasped her chest in fake horror, “Language! Hide wouldn’t like to be around someone as violent as you.”

Crash! Kaneki pulled back a bleeding fist, glass shards wedged into bleeding wounds, breath coming out in shorts gasps. “If it’s my fault Hide will be in trouble I will fix it. I don’t want him to get hurt on my account.”

The hallucination draped over his shoulders, “And?”

“I will pluck anyone who gets in my way.”

Rize pet his hair and cooed, “Good boy.”

He could handle this.

He had to.

_(Or he would lose_ everything. _)_

 

Touka wiped down the tables and counters, worry eating away at her nerves. Kaneki was an hour late for his shift and the guy attracted trouble like it was the latest fashion trend. “Kaneki you’re la—what happened? You look terrible.”

Kaneki scratched the back of his head and gave her his best, rather sheepish, grin he could manage at the moment. “Is the manager in? I screwed up. Bad.”

Touka dropped the rag. “Screwed up? What do you mean?”

“Well…you know how my scent clings to _everything_?”

“Yeah…did something happen?”

“I’m fine—“

Cold hands grasped his chin. “Tell. Me. Now.”

Kaneki raised his hands in peace. Submitting to her ferocity, he answered, “The guy I brought in on Saturday…he probably has it on him plus I kind of told him I wasn’t registered…”

“What?!” Touka swiftly surveyed the room for customers, pulled Kaneki into a headlock and dragged him into the kitchen. “What the _hell_ were you thinking?”

“I wasn’t.”

“Damn right you weren’t!” Touka sighed and rubbed her forehead in aggravation. “Look,” she said, “you need to be more careful. I let you borrow my registration card because I know you still have issues, but you need to make up your mind. Either you request an advisor from the CCG, work out the situation and request to be put on their radar or you wait for Kanou’s goons to catch up with you.”

“But…everyone would know I’m a ghoul.”

“Only if you tell them! It’s not like race—you don’t stick out unless you have a giant sticker plastered to your forehead saying ‘Look at me, I’m a ghoul!’ My brother disagreed with me and I’m still furious and upset over my father’s death but someone has to be there for Hinami; she didn’t choose to be registered. As long as I don’t go flashing my card, I’ll be fine. I’m sure you could be too if you gave it a chance.”

“The CCG has me marked; there is no chance.”

“They have to make concessions even if you’ve turned them down before. You’re in a better position than any ghoul out there.”

“Touka…I can’t. I’ve already committed crimes.” Kaneki clutched bundles of hair in his tight grasp. “I know there are ways ‘around the system’ to live normally but I can’t…! I tried and I keep being chased. Not even the CCG can keep them from catching up. The CCG doesn’t fucking know _anything_!” Kaneki grasped Touka’s shoulders, emotions of panic—fear—playing across his face, “I…don’t know what I should do. The manager has been so kind to me; he gave me a job and kept me hidden, and I screwed all that up.”

Touka pushed Kaneki back down into the chair. She’s never seen him this upset—not even when Yoshimura found him half-dead in that eleventh ward alleyway. “Make him loyal.”

“Eh?”

“That guy you gave your number too. Make him loyal! Get to know him better; be his friend. You’ll be in less danger if he doesn’t want you to get hurt right? Besides, he isn’t afraid of you. I’m sure you can become best friends in no time if you hang out together all the time.” Kaneki nodded and leaned back in the chair with a sigh, his nerves finally gaining release; not a hundred percent, but marginally better. “Do you want to try to eat real meat this time? You can only order the fake stuff once a week…”

The thought of eating the real stuff made Kaneki’s stomach lurch contradictory to his watering mouth. Images of a dank cell, the stench of his own flesh rotting in the nearby bucket, and a shivering woman sitting in the dim mold filled corner flashed through his mind bringing bile up his throat, burning his esophagus, singing the lining of his stomach. “No,” he choked out, “I-I’m fine.”

All the blood in his body felt like it disappeared into a black void; a chill ran across his skin. It laid claim to the marrow in his bones. Kaneki rubbed his arms, feeling the goosebumps rising on the surface, and shrunk in his chair to get away from Touka’s gaze. There was nothing wrong with him! He could handle this issue fine.

If Touka noticed the abrupt pallor change or the cold look he sent her way, she didn’t comment—and Kaneki was grateful for that.

“Be careful if you decide to hunt.”

In other words, “Be careful of ghouls stronger than you.” Eventually they would sniff out his trail. No matter how many precautions he took; no matter how much he covered up his scent; no matter how much he forged documents, those goons would find him. It was just a matter of when. Today or two months from now, they would find him.

 

Everyone, not just him, would suffer—property damage, deaths, and injuries were bound to happen; they would have to drug and tie him up, bleeding and broken, before he returned to that dark isolated cell. He could feel the phantom hands caressing his body, creeping up, whispering in a silken voice oozing with honeyed words and lies, “With your power, you should be able to take them all down. You _hate_ them don’t you _?_ “

“No,” he whispered, “it’s not like that.”

_“_ You should listen to yourself. I thought you were going to get rid of those in your way _.”_

“Kaneki?” Kaneki shrugged off the hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry, what?”

“I forgot to mention this but Yoshimura requested your services earlier.”

“Oh, okay. Um,” Hide glanced around the empty kitchen, “where is he?”

Touka pointed at the hidden stairwell, “He’s in the back restocking.”

Kaneki felt vaguely ill again.

_“Laughable,”_ the phantom mused.

 

Yoshimura knew this was going to happen. The elderly gentleman maintained an information network all throughout the 20th ward. Yoshimura set this up on purpose—why else would he have requested Kaneki when Yomo would have done? Perhaps Yoshimura wanted to ease Kaneki into fighting rather than running. The old man was kind—kinder than anyone had been to him after he ran away from his aunt, after the incident with Kanou but he always had Kaneki’s best interests in mind.

 His traitorous mind,however, was stuck on replay: “Yoshimura delayed your arrival.” This wasn’t true, he knew, but the voices— _crawling inside his head, scratching at his ear_ s—wanted to insist on Yoshimura’s treachery. _Doubts digging into his brain like a hundred scurrying le—_ no! Kaneki shook his head trying to relieve the phantom sensations. He needed to do something before those ghouls could hurt Hide further! Now wasn’t the time to lose himself—not for what felt like the fiftieth time today.

The rinkaku shot out like a snake, twining around the bikaku users kagune aimed straight at the unconscious Hide’s chest.  He ripped off his eyepatch, the vision in his left eye sharpening and enhancing the dim streets around him. “Don’t. Touch. Him.”

“Figures you would appear when we weren’t searching for you, Centipede.” The second ghoul picked Hide off the ground—was that blood coming out of his head?—and shook him a  bit. “You care for this guy? It’s faint but I can smell your scent on him. You know how Eto feels about you making friends with humans.” He tossed Hide into the alley filth with a grin. “Humans don’t want us to _exist_. Why would you make friends with human trash?”

Crack. “Bastards like you don’t deserve an answer.” Kaneki grinned, “Die!”

“Crap! Get out of the wa—“ The ghoul restraining Kaneki’s kagune screamed and blood gushed as he was impaled on the end of his rinkaku straight through the chest.

“You killed Kenta! You bastard!” The ghoul charged forward releasing Hide and charging forward, “I’ll kill you!”

_“Weak.”_

Kaneki slipped around the ghoul’s defense and restrained his arms in a single movement, koukaku caught up in the tangle of his rinkaku. “Who sent you to this ward?”

“You should know! Aogiri is after your head!”

He ripped the ghouls spine backwards, “that’s not what I asked. Listen carefully: which one was it?” Silence.

“AGGH! FINE! ETO! ETO SENT ME!”

“Tch. So she knows where I am?”

“Damn right! Aogiri is catching up with you, cocky bastard! I hope they decide you aren’t worth the trouble!”

Crack. Kaneki dropped the limp corpse on the ground and went over to Hide’s prone form. Gently, he eased his arms under Hide’s back and lifted him up, trying not to disturb any wounds. Now, there a more pressing matter had to be taken care of. Where should he take Hide? Going to a hospital would result in a thousand questions he couldn’t answer; going to Anteiku could lead the blood hounds straight to Anteiku’s doorstep (he didn’t have time for precautionary measures); and if he could find Hide’s address, going to Hide’s place would put the human in a dangerous position.

It had to be his apartment then.

 

Hours past and Hide showed no signs of waking up. At times he would make a slight groan and shift in his makeshift futon bed; however, the majority of the time Kaneki busied himself making sure Hide still breathed. The guilt wracked his nerves, building and building for each hour Hide remained unconscious. He understood the wounds weren’t serious but if Kaneki hadn’t come to this ward, Hide wouldn’t even have a scratch. He would be doing whatever it was Hide did in his spare time, laughing and joking with his _human_ friends.

It was his fault someone almost died.

Rize had draped herself over Hide, running a finger up and down his cheek with her friendly smile; a smile hiding venom. “You’re a really sweet boy, taking care of him like this.”

“They were going to kill him. Of course I would.”

“But what will you do now? Aogiri will find the bodies. If they catch you, you’re going to be punished again.”

“I can’t sit still when someone in front of me is being attacked.”

“Someone? Or just _Hide?”_ Rize stared from under the fringe of her hair. _“_ Now that they have a trail, they will find you no matter what you do.”

“I know.”

“You can’t run, you know. It’s either CCG territory or Aogiri territory beyond the twentieth ward.”

“Then I’ll just fight.”

_“_ Smart boy.” Hide groaned beneath her, “Oh, he’s waking up. I’ll leave you two to talk things out together. But, you know what you need to do right?”

“Yes.” Rize smirked and vanished as Hide sat up, sheets pooling around his waist exposing the thick bindings around his chest and arms.

“K-Kaneki? Where am I?”

Kaneki averted his gaze. “Hide, we should stop this.”

“W-wha—?” Kaneki’s stomach clenched in guilt. Hide shouldn’t make that expression. They barely knew each other.

“After tonight, we won’t see each other again.”

“But we just started hanging out! If you’re worried about me getting hurt, you had no part in that! I just ran into those guys by chance! You were the one who saved me right?”

“Yes.”

“Then you’re a good guy! I ran into those guys by chance! It happens all the time and _not_ just because I’m friends with a ghoul.”

Kaneki balled his fists,“It is my fault!”

“I refuse to believe that! If you thought something was going to happen, why did you tell me about yourself? Why did you decide to hang out with me?”

 “I was being careless that day! I should never have told you anything.”

“Kaneki…”

Kaneki clenched his fists. “Why are you so stubborn?! We barely know each other.”

“Because,” Hide said, “even if it was a mistake, you trusted me with your secret.”

 “That’s a stupid reason.”

“Then,” Hide grit his teeth, “if a stupid mistake actually ended up being a good thing what would you do?”

Kaneki turned away, “I want you to leave in the morning.”

“I get it dude.” Hide frowned. “ In the end, we’re still just strangers.” Hide pulled the futon covers up and rolled over, back turned from Kaneki. Man and here he finally found someone interesting to hang out with. There would be more chances but still…something about Kaneki screamed ‘don’t leave me alone.’ From what he could tell of the guy, he would sit here and bottle everything up. That just wouldn’t do.

Hide peaked over his shoulder at Kaneki. His eyes were downcast and the muscles of his body tense. He seemed…upset—disappointed even. “Hey Kaneki.”

“What?”

“Thanks for saving me and…uh…taking care of my injuries.” Kaneki made a noncommittal grunting noise. “Listen, I don’t know what you’re going through and I pushed this issue too much. I was just excited.” Hide rolled over and beamed at the ghoul, “When we hung out the other day, you felt more real than the guys at school. So I thought, I felt I really wanted to be friends with you.”

“I…I wanted to be friends too. I’ve spent so long with ghouls. And, I saw you sitting on the park bench and I was reminded of when I went to Kamii.”

“Yeah,” Hide chuckled, “it’s rough isn’t it?”

“I was trying to be nice.”

“I would have needled you to tell me your secret anyway.” Hide winked, “I know these thi—“ Hide got a mouthful of cotton. “Did you just throw a pillow at me?”

“And if I did?”

Hide picked the pillow off his face, “you’re on!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I just say I love writing Hallucination!Rize’s demented personality? Like dang girl, you’re laying on the mind games a bit thick don’t you think (this also applies to cannon). I may have gotten a bit carried away with the mind games here? Also, I think Kaneki in this timeline is slightly more…messed up? No Hide for support and with the background I have yet to reveal fully… he’s got other issues. More background OC characters with no real personality other than to antagonize! Right now though there is really now reason to throw in big time villains.
> 
> Wasn’t sure how to pull off the last portion but there you go. They got kind of a friendship at first sight thing going on (which cannon!Hide actually says he doesn’t like the other students that much when he first becomes friends with Kaneki.)   
> Also, Ishida is going to make this fandom die of emotions I swear. There’s signs that both Amon and HIDE will be showing up soon.


	4. Chapter 4

Touka scribbled down the newest order, “A medium peppermint latte? Would you like anything else, sir?”

“No, I’m good. Thank you.” Touka slipped behind the counter and handed the order off to Kaneki.

“You’re new friend is sitting at the table over there. Aren’t you going to say hi?”

“No.”

“Why?”

Kaneki picked up the fresh cup of coffee and handed it off to Touka. “Because what will I do if I do become friends with him? ‘Hey Hide, wanna go grab a person to eat?’ Or maybe, ‘do you want to watch me compete in the next underground ghoul equivalent of cock fighting?’ No, I don’t think a normal human wants to go to any of that stuff.

“Normal? Kaneki, did you even take a good look at the guy? Have you spoken with him at all ghouls?”

“Not really.”

“Well maybe you should go talk to the grinning anomaly over there.”

“What?” Kaneki tilted his head over his shoulder at the front of the shop.

“Yo Kaneki! You’re getting my latte right? How about a cure design in it! Oooh, have Touka draw her cute latte art!”

“No.” They both said in unison. Hide deflated and slumped on the table.

“You guys are no fun!”

“Drink your coffee.” Touka sat the freshly brewed latte on the table. “Thanks Touka.” She nodded and went back behind the counter. She rested a hand on Kaneki’s shoulder, “he’s not going to let you avoid him. It’s your fault for showing him this place.”

“But Touka!”

“I’m going to give you two some space to work things out. I’ll be upstairs helping Hinami with her homework if you need me.”

“Touka don’t leave me here!” Ah, there she went. Kaneki sighed and dropped his hand. Touka hadn’t even bothered to give him even a shoulder glance. She had to still be mad at him for ignoring her advice on making friends with Hide.

“Don’t even think about running, idiot Kaneki!”

Yep, still mad. It was too late to run though. The cheerful blonde had already situated himself at the counter, fanning his tongue that he burned on the cup of latte, while staring at Kaneki from the corner of his eyes.  “If you keep fanning your tongue like that, I might decide to take a bite out of it.”

“Oh really? Do I look that tasty to you?” Hide grinned and finally took a sip of his latte after blowing on it several times.

“Yes but I would be more likely to eat other parts. Not the tongue.” Kaneki froze at the sly grin adorning Hide’s face.

“ _Other_ places?”

“Oh god no! That is _not_ what I meant!”

“Hehe, too late to take it back Kaneki!” Hide pulled out his phone, “so do you want the pictures now or later?”

“Give me that!” Kaneki swiped the phone from his hand, mustering the most menacing glare he could manage. “Stop fooling around! I thought I told you I wasn’t going to talk to you anymore!”

“Uh uh, you didn’t say no following you to work. And you’re talking to me right now.”

Kaneki growled at Hide but decided it wasn’t worth it. “So what are you going to do if I keep saying no?”

“I’m going to come here every day until you decide that it’s better to keep me close.”

“That’s a terrible idea. It’s better for you to go away. Far away.”

“Dude, do you really want me to give you a list of why _your_ idea is the terrible one?’

“I could do without a long explanation.”

“Well, suffice to say the ghoul said something before he knocked me out. Something about smelling like him. By him, they most definitely meant you, with the way you’re acting. So, either way someone is going to find out so it’s better if the people around me are aware of the situation right?”

Kaneki’s face twisted and scrunched, nose turned up, with a sigh. “Fine.”

“Yes! Oh, while I’m at it…I kinda signed up for this CCG program at Kami.”

And fuck his life. Again. For the thousandth time. “If you even think of selling me out, I’ll kill you and erase all evidence you even existed.”

“Don’t worry! Secret is safe with me. Although…do you know of any places I could make a bit of extra money under the table until my internship program starts? The price of meat rose two hundred yen the other day! Two hundred! How’s a college student supposed to eat?”

“Ramen noodles.”

“I’ll starve to death! Ramen noodles are the human food of…ugh…you get my point! It’s like human food to you guys!”

“Well there’s always spam. You guys put that stuff in all your food.”

“No. I’ll die of a heart attack from greasy pig meat cholesterol.”

“Hide, I don’t think you know what you’re asking when you talk about making cash under the table. All the places I know are either run by the yakuza or anti-integration groups. Only one of those doesn’t have a one hundred percent chance of death.”

Hide sighed and instead decided to amuse himself with his cup of lukewarm latte. “When I learn how to fight, would you take me to one?”

“No!”

“You’re no fun~!” Hide whined.

“If the CCG, of all places, finds out you were messing around in underground ghoul rings, you would be in serious trouble!” Kaneki glanced down at the partially full cup, “would you like another cup?”

“I don’t have the money for one—hey I said I don’t want another one!”

Kaneki shrugged and picked up the glass and began preparing the coffee, gently swirling the coffee in the filter. He added the milk and sat it on the counter in front of Hide, “I’ll give this one to you. I don’t need to buy food anymore so I’ll pay for this.”

“Really? I mean, I’m fine but thanks man!” Hide stared at the glass and laughed, “I don’t know if I will be able to drink all of it though.”

“It’s what a friend does.” Is that right? Kaneki never had any close friends and his experience as a ghoul was sketchy to say the least. But, from what he saw on the movies and TV shows, it was common courtesy to help a friend in need—supposedly.

“Usually best friends do this kind of stuff.” Hide grinned and took a sip from the fresh cup—after blowing on it—carefully avoiding a scalding tongue. “But you think of me as a friend! Man, that’s great. So, you’ve thought about things?”

Crap, crap, he screwed up again, “I take that back. Give the cup back to me.”

“No!” Hide cradled the beverage in his arms, “it’s a sign of our new friendship! I’m not giving up this gift! No take backs!”

Kaneki gave a faint smile and snorted. This guy is such a child.

“I am not!”

Crap, he said that out loud didn’t he? “Are too.”

“Am not!”

“Yes.”

“No!”

“Yes, you are.”

“No! I’m like that adorable puppy that everyone wants to play with.”

“You’re a puppy who keeps making a mess.”

“But you love me.”

Kaneki groaned in annoyance and continued filling out the other orders for the ghoul customers in the restaurant, shooting a glare at the purple haired American ghoul shooting lustful stares at Hide. The ghouls locked gazes and Kaneki mouthed, _“Touch him and you die._ ” An elbow nudged him and Kaneki turned his attention back to Hide with a neutral expression.

“Did you threaten to kill somebody just now?”

“No.”

“Liar. You do realize it’s easy to tell when people lie right?” Right, just like when they first met. “Of course, reading lips helps too.” Damn it! “So, who’s the offender?”

Kaneki sighed and pointed back to the perverted ghoul, “His name is Tsukiyama Shuu. Touka prefers to call him trash. It’s spot on actually.” Kaneki motioned for Hide to lean forward and whispered, “Feel free to lead the CCG right to him—the bastard gets a sick pleasure out of eating.”

“Oh,” Hide grimaced, “one of _those_.”

Kaneki glared at Tsukiyama again. “If you’re really hurting for money, I could loan you some. I don’t eat human food so I have at least a hundred extra each month. In return, I don’t want you visiting here every day. No hunting down other ghouls either. Curiosity killed that cat.”

“But satisfaction brought him back and with some new knowledge too. I’m not reckless you know. You on the other hand…”

“I am not reckless.”

“Keep telling yourself that but the fact that you consider inviting to hang out with me a mistake says otherwise.” Kaneki didn’t say anything. Reading the orders Touka continually brought to the counter as each customer strolled through the door of the lazy café kept his mind away from the bubbly blonde behind him.

“Fine. Do everyone a favor though and make a habit of wearing some kind of heavy cologne or perfume. It should help hide the scent of ghouls sticking to your clothes.”

Hide grimaced in disgust but nodded. “I don’t want to be overpowering but I’m assuming this has something to do with whatever’s freaking you out. Hanging around you is dangerous; I get it.”

“Alright well…what now?”

“Movie at your place?”

“Aren’t you afraid I’m going to eat you?”

“If you wanted to, you could’ve done that when you first met me.” Hide retorted with a grin. “But, you _do_ watch movies right?”

“I prefer books to movies.”

“No this isn’t acceptable! I’m going to bring my collection of cheesy B-movie goodness and we are going to do a marathon of movies.”

“Don’t you have class tomorrow?”

“I don’t care. Go tell your boss your coming with me! I’m going to pilfer money off of you in exchange for showing you the wonders of movies.”

“That isn’t a fair trade at all!”

Hide smirked, “Sure it is. Consider it payback for the trouble I got into last night because of those guys looking for you.”

“Wait, how do you know that?” And then, Kaneki realized, Hide is a magnificent, manipulative bastard in every sense of the word. “You’ve been gathering information on me?”

Hide playfully stuck out his tongue. “Nothing you can do about it now!”

And, for the first time in a while, Kaneki laughed.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for this being so late! It's not nearly long enough nor up to my usual standards but I kept delaying on this chapter and before I knew it several weeks had passed! Now, I'm going to just post this sorta filler chapter and get things moving forward in the next chapter while I try to keep my mind off of my sunburn.


	5. Chapter 5

_“Are you sure you want to stay here?”_ The voice echoed in the warehouse, reverberating through his head, as he lay on the cold cement floor examining the starless sky through the dilapidated roof.  Sharp, shooting pain ran up and down his body as he forced his head to the side.

“Of course not.”

“ _Your_ friends _will be so sad. You haven’t been around anyone in almost a week. Hide will be crying ‘Kaneki abandoned me!’ And to think you finally managed to find one friend. I do say he’s been remarkably patient with you this past month. Ah, but he’s going to the CCG isn’t he? You two can’t stay friends. Humans and ghouls can’t be friends.”_

“That’s not true.”

_“Then why are you lying on the floor like that?”_

Kaneki snorted. “You know why.”

_“Haha. Well, you should get up. There’s a new job you need to do. If you resist, you’ll be crying in agony next time.”_

 

 

In his old age, Yoshimura’s greatest joys came from managing his shop. Every morning, he looked forward to the expressions on his employee’s faces—both happy workers and sleep deprived grumps—as they prepared the shop for the first rush of early bird customers. He could count on the scent of roasted beans wafting through the store when they brewed the first cups and take pleasure at the smiles of his customers—ghoul and human.

He had just finished checking sprucing up the back kitchen when the bell rang. Yoshimura gave a sharp bow of his head to one of his favorite customers. Yoshimura set the water for the coffee to heat and offered his greetings, “Hello Hideyoshi. How are you today?”

“I’m doing great!” Hide beamed at the elderly manager and sat down on the nearest counter stool. Hide’s playfulness drained when he noticed the emptiness in the shop. Usually, one of the older workers, such as Ms. Irima, would be here to assist yet he could only see the manager. “Mr. Yoshimura, where is everybody? I’ve been looking all over for Kaneki; I was hoping Touka knew something. He hasn’t answered my texts for two weeks.”

“Nagachika,” Hide’s ears perked, “what feeling do you get from Kaneki?”

“Feeling, huh? Hide hummed, placed his chin on his hand, and rested his elbow on the pristine counter. What a weird question to just ask. “He’s confused—scared? Something like that.”

“Indeed.” Then he said no more.

Things were getting a bit too weird for Hide’s liking.

 “Mr. Yoshimura…where is Kaneki?” A warm glass tapped his hand. Hide gave Yoshimura a smile and accepted the cup of coffee, “thank you. It’s the usual?”

“Yes.”

The old man dodged his question.

Hide forced a grin and shifted the steaming cup back to warm up his hands. “Everyone at Anteiku knows me too well!” He took a sip and bit back a yelp and fanned his tongue, “that’s hotter than I expected.”

Yoshimura grinned, filled a glass of water, and handed to Hide. “Nagachika, in regards to Kaneki, I always knew you were perceptive which is why I am going to tell you to be careful. Touka says you’ve been sneaking around recently and one of my customers said they saw someone matching your description at Helter Skelter a week ago.”

“Helter Skelter?” Hide sipped from his coffee, slowly, and observed the manager’s expression over the rim of the ceramic cup. He didn’t believe him though this was obvious from the beginning. “Fine. I was curious; I happened to find Kaneki by chance wearing this creepy mask.” Hide raised his hands, eyes relaxed in cool concentration, and tone deadly serious, “I wanted to know who could possibly back Kaneki into a corner; his usual demeanor doesn’t add up with the reaction he had after I was attacked.” Yoshimura made no movement so Hide assumed he was okay to continue. “Is Kaneki being forced to do something he doesn’t agree with?”

“I suppose I should tell you at least part of the story.” Yoshimura took out another coffee cup, lifted the kettle of boiled water, and watched the beans dance in the filter while he spoke, “We’ve been keeping Kaneki away from humans. It is not my story to tell; however, suffice to say that Kaneki is in a lot of pain.” Yoshimura set down the kettle. “We ghouls may suffer for physical pain for a brief period of time, but it does not prevent the emotional scars.”

“Is that why he has white hair?”

“Perceptive as always.” Yoshimura’s face became solemn. “Kaneki doesn’t know which side to trust. Is it the humans or is it the ghouls? Both sides have hurt him in unimaginable ways.” Yoshimura’s head tilted back as he gazed longingly at something Hide couldn’t imagine. “Hideyoshi, you are the first human Kaneki has seen fit to trust since everything began. It may be rude of me to ask this, but can you look after Kaneki for me?”

Hide beamed, “Of course!”  But, then, the joy fell from his face. “But I don’t know where he is. Last week was a chance of luck.”

“Do you have classes at the CCG Academy today?”

Hide couldn’t help laughing. This old man—really! Yoshimura’s ability to redirect the conversation to unexpected conclusions couldn’t be understated. Why hadn’t he realized it yet? Hide could use the CCG to obtain information on ghouls who vaguely matched Kaneki’s description. If he could root out which ghoul was Kaneki, he could ask for permission to research the case.

He could discover the identity behind the ghouls tracking Kaneki.

“I have one in about an hour after the welcome ceremony.” Hide checked the watch just to make sure.  It read 8:10. If he left now, he might be able to catch an instructor early and introduce himself. If he could impress the instructor, they might recommend placing him on a case.  It wouldn’t hurt to try.

Hide tossed the change on the counter and slung his bag over his shoulder. “I need to catch the train. Is the change all there?”

“Yes and there is no change. Should I expect you to come by later looking for Kaneki?”

Hide shook his head. Kaneki hadn’t shown to work in two weeks. Yoshimura knew where to look but wouldn’t tell him. “No. I’ll probably have a bunch of reading to do. Ah, but I might have a few questions for Touka.”

“I think it would be best if you didn’t ask her.  She’s upset Kaneki hasn’t contacted her.”

So Touka was also off limits.

A test?

Thinking about it, Touka’s classes didn’t start till 8:30 and he usually saw her around the shop in the mornings before she left.

Things were getting more and more confusing.

 

Hide twirled the pencil between his fingers and ran the eraser over the lines of the page.  Hide huffed and set his pencil down with a sharp clink. This was disturbing. “What reason could they have for secrecy…?” Hide mumbled and rested his cheek in the palm of his hand. What reason could the CCG possibly having students sign a contract like this?

“Is something wrong, Mr. Nagachika?”

“Yes,” Hide said, “what purpose could there be for keeping training procedures and practices secret?”

The advisor sighed and his exasperation with the question was evident in the tone of his voice, “Our job as investigators is to hunt down and kill ghouls—or at least it was that way before the laws for Ghoul Equality were recently passed. Think of it this way. You are a ghoul. You know our entire curriculum, all of our organizational structure, and all of our investigative procedures. Ghouls may be savage beasts but they possess the capability to utilize sensitive information and use it to their advantage. For this reason alone, ghouls are known to run the largest crime organizations in the world. You spread this information to other ghouls and together, you manage to crush the entire CCG. Is this the outcome you want?”

Hide shook his head. The advisor’s argument supplied a rational and well-thought out purpose for signing into secrecy for the average person. Yet, Hide felt there was more beyond that. “I don’t see any reason to keep ghoul biology a secret from the public.” In fact, if they had a comprehensive understanding of ghoul biology, it might be possible for humans to better arm themselves against hostile ghouls. Sure, it was well-known what the purpose and different types of kagune were, what a ghoul ate, and what signs to look for but that was all and at least half of the information held errors and inaccuracies based on his interactions with Kaneki and Touka.

“How many ghouls do you see becoming scientists?”

“I’ve never heard of one.”

“Exactly. If we tell the ghouls the inner workings of their own bodies, they might uncover a new way to enhance themselves. They are crafty beasts. Now,” the advisor bit out, “do you have any _other_ questions before everyone heads to their first course?” The auditorium remained silent. “Good. Everyone, please read over the contract and hand it in to me when you’re ready. Classes begin in ten minutes; however, there is no need to hurry. Instructors who take attendance will not penalize you on the first day.”

Did he really want to sign away on this form? Kami University already had him down as a participant though and it was a great deal—free tuition and fees in return for being a ghoul investigator. But, Hide mused, he would be forced to abide by similar rules no matter what government job he ended up at. Looking over the paper, not _everything_ was stupid—such as keeping the details of the case a secret until given an all-clear. Hide pulled out his seal—a stamp with his name on it—and placed it on the red ink pad the CCG gave him at the front door.

It sealed his allegiance with a soft, anti-climactic thump.

 

“Okay!” The instructor, a man named Shinohara, clapped his hand together as he addressed his assembled class. “I would like to welcome everybody to the start of this quarter’s physical education. I’m sure you have guessed, but this isn’t going to be an ordinary gym class. You will be learning the basics of wielding your quinque properly and submitted to a series of rigorous tests…”

Hide didn’t get to speak with the lecturers in the end. Ah, how he’d let his hopes run wild. At this rate he wouldn’t be able to join any CCG raids for two or three years. Kaneki went missing (and he thought things were going splendidly) and Yoshimura had decided to make it his business to try to scare Hide. CCG training should make him a little less fragile, he hoped.

“And so today we decided to bring in a registered ghoul to get a feel for your reaction times and fitness levels.”

Wait. What? Hide’s hand shot into the air. “Teacher!”

Shinohara paused, “Yes…um…I’m sorry what is your name?”

“Nagachika Hideyoshi, sir.”

“Mr. Nagachika, what is your question?”

Hide tugged at the hem of his shirt. Didn’t this gym have an air conditioner? “Isn’t it, uh, a bit _dangerous_ to force poor, pitiful beginners like myself against a ghoul?

“Don’t worry. The ghoul we asked to assist us is dangerous but reliable. If anything goes wrong, we have multiple officers standing by. Is that all?”

Hide lowered his hand and took several deep breaths despite the heavy thud of his heart and the sweaty, shaky palms. He had to do this. “Yes sir.”

“Great! Now, I know you all are nervous about sparring with a ghoul but it is better to get experience now that we have this option open to us.” Shinohara turned and waved at the set of double doors on the other side of the gym. “Kirishima-san!” Hide’s mind skidded to a halt. “Please come on in! Everything’s ready for the spar!”

Touka entered the gym, every bit as confident and passionate as her waitress persona. Her eyes trailed over to Hide, shock and anger filtering into them, and screamed alongside Hide.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ** In Japan, people do not sign their names. Instead they use a stamp made from ivory, wood, or plastic along with a red ink. This stamp has both their name, family name, and anything else important to a name; however, foreigners do not need a stamp and only need to sign their names. (I feel like stamps would be easy to forge duplicates?)
> 
> Hey guys! Thanks for all the comments and kudos on this story so far! So, I rewrote this chapter around three times? I was going to add more fluff but I really wanted to start to get the ball rolling so...yeah. I'm not too sure about Yoshimura's part but oh well. I know there is going to be questions regarding Touka but that is all in due time.


	6. Centipede

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Um, so incredibly short even by my standards. I haven’t been in the mood to write in like 6 or so months. I ended up in the hospital at one point, almost had a heart attack from stress, got threatened with physical violence then got thrown out of my house. No time to write at all. But, I wanted to get something out…so have part of what I had written for chapter 6 and the rest will be in 7 whenever I get around to it. If you guys see a serious grammar mistake, let me know since I haven’t thoroughly looked over this. At some point, I’m going to make this all spiffy and nice instead of rushed.
> 
> On another note, I might play around with Doctor Who. Maybe write a one-shot with an alternate timeline. Perhaps Time Lord Victorious?

Kaneki sat splayed across the warehouse’s concrete floor reading a rather riveting book. He hadn’t eaten anything in weeks and it had started to show. Bruises and cuts littered his face and upper torso. His clothes had been abused and torn and though mendable, it would be easier to replace them instead. Kaneki lounged much like a cat, perking up when he heard the faint thumps of someone skipping lightly down the warehouse hall to his jail room.

“Ara? You’re still here? I figured you would have broken out by now considering how easily you disposed of my men.”

Kaneki didn’t bother to look away from his book, flipping the page even as Aogiri’s presumed leader approached him. Her smile, hidden beneath layers of cloth bandages, held a faint outline of a sick grin. “It wasn’t nice what you did to the recovery team. You behaved so well when we rescued you. My darling son is entering his rebellious age.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Call you what?” Silence. Eto frowned. A squelching sound echoed and Kaneki winced, anger shadowing his face. “Ooh I’m sorry. Did that hurt?”

“Fuck you.”

“I’m afraid you’re a bit young for me.” Eto held up a leg. “Although, I can’t imagine why you would let me do this.” She waved the dripping limb about his face, watching the heterochromatic eyes follow its movements. Kaneki remained silent despite fury raging in his eyes. “You can’t can you? Can’t speak up against your Executioner and Messiah.” She tossed the limb onto the ground where Kaneki watched it slide across the floor in a trail of blood.

“You can’t keep me here forever.”

“Oh but I can! Wouldn’t want anything to happen to your new human friends.” Eto felt the holes being burnt in the back of her head from his glare. “You can’t be mad at me. I gave you a warning and you disobeyed.” She lost all mirth, “And in disobeying me, I lost a chance to get rid of the Reaper and one of my tools has turned into a puppy playing with his food.”

“You can’t kill Death.”

“I think it’s getting chilly. It’s the autumn wind. Death draws closer with every year.” Kaneki smirked at the fury radiating from Eto. “I figured you might enjoy a poem from this book I’m reading on Issa. He’s a renowned Japanese poet.”

“The woodpecker pecks the post to death.” I wonder just who the post is? What is the significance of it, Mr. Centipede?” Kaneki grimaced and set down his book. “I’m sure there are members of Aogiri who would love to devour the centipede in the post.” Kaneki eyed the men stepping out of the shadows of the warehouse. Eto’s smiled turned murderous. “Maybe even a little torture?’

Kaneki screamed, “No! Bitch! I’m not going back! I followed all of your orders!”

Eto placed a thumb on her pursed, bandaged lips. “Really? Last time I checked, you were making buddies with a dove.”

“What?” Eto waved bye as the white suits dragged him into the torture room. “ETOOO!”

 

Kaneki growled as the suits tossed him into the familiar torture chair. “GET OFF OF ME!” A pulsing, red kagune burst out of his back slamming into the suits. “I’ve had it with this…” With a stroke, he easily dismembered several white suits as regular Aogiri members dashed forward to restrain him. Another stroke of his kagune claw and yet another fell. Blood spattered across his face.

Kaneki felt the centipede, the chittering in his ear, as it clawed at insides. It was in his brain devouring his body! He had to get it out! It was their fault. He hated ghouls. Hatedhatedhatedhated—oh, but, it was so much easier to gain power. Easier to keep the Centipede at bay. He hated therefore he gained power. Power not even the CCG could stand against. And maybe, if he found new prey, the Centipede would eat somebody else. It would stop eating _him_.

There was a sharp squelch and blood spattered across the cold walls. A cold hiss clattered across the ground. Deranged laughter bounced off the walls. A single blood red eye spun in its socket. “WHEre Is ThE PrEy?” Insanity tinged Kaneki’s voice as he watched the approaching white suits. Mouth drooling, eyes crazed, and midnight kagune pulsing, he lunged.

Eto laughed, murder and insanity filling the frosty night air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I admit...I just wanted to write insane, centipede Kaneki. Although, I suppose this centipede is more beast-like and instinctual than cannon since Kaneki has a completely different reasoning going on in his head (no one to protect).

**Author's Note:**

> I appreciate feedback! It helps me stay motivated to write stuff. I have a tumblr if you have a question or would just like to chat! Also, for those who read my parkour AU, omg I didn't expect you guys to like it so much! Seriously, I couldn't believe I got so many kudos on a little one shot! Thanks T^T
> 
> blueswritesfic.tumblr.com (my tumblr)


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